I'm drive I can fine osifer
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Randomize
