How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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