Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
