all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
