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Fuck
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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