saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
