low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
