so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
