We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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