She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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