mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
