After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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