First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
