He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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