I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
