your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
