From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
