I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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