im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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