I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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