South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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