Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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