Come see our sink grown plant.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
