Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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