hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
