god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
