Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You left your underwear on the fireplace
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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