I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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