Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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