Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
