I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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