Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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