Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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