How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
