My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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