Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
