No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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