just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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