Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
