this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
