he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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