In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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