WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
