we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
