I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm like, not good at living.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
