Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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