Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
