We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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