I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
