He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Randomize
