too bad you live with your parents still
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
