I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
