Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
